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Local News 101
A Report for Busy or Napping
Students, Intellectuals, Plumbers, Vagrants
Sara Gelser is now leading Betsy Close, who is widely regarded
as the dumbest person in the state legislature, by a full 10 points in the
latest polling (52%-42%). Gelser now enjoys the highest "favorability ratings"
(3-1) of any legislator in the past 4 years. Close was never elected, was
appointed to replace Frank Morse when he resigned, and observers at the time
felt that Benton County Commissioners - all Democrats - chose her, among those
nominated by Morse's party, because they knew she would be an intolerable
embarrassment to County residents. They were not disappointed. Local Republicans
could, however, have replaced her themselves and chose not to. They too, are an
embarrassment to the County.
The homeless in Oregon, and specifically in Portland, are pointing to the work
that the late Robin Williams did on their behalf. He and Billy Crystal had
testified before Congress on the issue. Portland's Street Roots applauded him
for his testimony at the time that " the fastest growing population among the
homeless being families with young children, as well as to the nonsense from
former president Ronald Reagan that the only people who are homeless are those
who have chosen to be so".
Street Roots' tribute was that "With his passing, we lost a great
advocate for people experiencing homelessness, in a sadly familiar way."
A new map culled from the data made available for the first time, due to the
Affordable Care Act points to Benton County as one of the poorest in the
state, despite having lower unemployment rates than most Counties. The
gray bars represent the state average, and the red bars the County's.
consequence, 18.3% of the County is classified as in the poverty range. Much of
that is no doubt rural, and the role of the student population is unclear,
although the difference may be moot, since a single student household and a
single worker household have the same bills to meet.
For some obscure reason, the measure many cities and counties have
settled upon to address poverty - raising the minimum wage - seems to have
evaded the notice of all 3 of Benton County's Commissioners. Case after case
has shown that an income rise for everyone in an affected geographic area
Last night, St. Louis and Ferguson police — dressed in camouflage and
equipped with armored tanks and military rifles — fired tear gas, rubber coated
bullets, and flash grenades at thousands of Black residents exercising their
right to peacefully assemble and demand accountability for the police killing of
18-year-old Michael Brown. Many were injured in the war-like environment as
police displayed a blatant disregard for civil rights — unlawfully arresting
dozens of people including members of the press. Local authorities have proven
incapable and the federal government must step in.
Earlier today, President Obama said:
"Now is the time for an open and transparent process to see that justice is
done. And I've asked that the attorney general and the U.S. attorney on the
scene continue to work with local officials to move that process forward."
But that's not enough. President Obama and US Attorney General Eric Holder must
take definitive action to increase oversight and enforce a higher national
standard that ends rampant police misconduct and protects the civil rights of
Black Missourians. If not, matters will only get worse.
Join me in calling on President Obama and Attorney General Holder to intervene
and protect Missouri from an unaccountable and violent police force. And when
you are done, ask your friends and family to do the same.
And it's not just Ferguson. Systemic militarization of law enforcement combined
with long-held racial bias and the criminalization of Black residents has turned
those exercising their constitutional right to peacefully assemble and protest
in Ferguson into enemy combatants of a highly militarized and violent police
force. This must end and there's no time to waste.
Thanks and peace,
— Matt, Rashad, Arisha, Jamar, Lyla and the rest of the ColorOfChange.org team
I am a 38-year-old married woman. My husband of 18 years is 22 years my senior.
I credit my husband for giving me a good life and helping me pursue goals. But
my husband is a type-A professional, and that has played out in the bedroom. He
has always been disinterested in my pleasure. When our kids were little, I did
not want sex as often as he did ("only" twice a week). I suggested that he
masturbate in the shower if he wanted a morning quickie. His answer: A married
man "should not have to pleasure himself." That attitude about my wifely duties
also translates into myriad other household tasks that fall into my lap. Hubby,
by the way, does not fall into my lap. If I ask for oral, he tells me to "clean
it really, really well," then he'll "think about doing that." This makes me feel
disgusting. I have tried to spice up our sex life. For years, it has been penis
in the vagina, missionary position or doggy style. It can feel pretty "rapey" a
lot of the time, as he typically comes at me rounding third base and
then—bam—it's over in five minutes. If I initiate or get on top, he loses his
erection because I am "attacking him." A few months ago, I told a friend that I
had never once received "enthusiastic oral." She said it made sense that my
husband didn't enjoy doing it because it was a "domination thing" that mostly
submissive men enjoy. A little information can be a dangerous thing. I started
visiting online domination forums. I hinted about these interests to my husband
and got shot down (of course). This is a huge contrast to my new "online
friends," who would love to meet and orally service me. Two of these "sub males"
want me to "own" them. This is heady stuff. I have spoken to each of them on the
phone and exchanged hundreds of e-mails. (Meeting strangers sounds scary, I
know, but I have kept my identity secret and have insisted on knowing these
gents' real and verifiable info.) I want to take this into "real life." This is
the happiest I have been in my entire life, and I want to act on these desires.
My husband is my only concern. He is my best friend, and I don't want to lose
that. I feel like I can't even tell him about the online stuff. He is so rigid.
I am stuck. How do I deal with this?
-Don't Offend My Man Ever
On the one hand... a man who demands "rapey" sex on his schedule for 18 years,
makes his wife feel bad about her genitals, and isn't open to trying new things
is begging to be cheated on. So go ahead and get some enthusiastic oral from
those sub males, DOMME, you more than deserve it.
On the other hand... you say your rapey, pussy-disparaging, sex-shaming husband
is your best friend (baffling!) and you don't want to lose him (equally
baffling!). And without a doubt, a guy with his retrograde attitudes about sex,
gender roles, and "wifely duties" would divorce you if he found out you cheated
on him—and some days it feels like most people who cheat wind up getting
caught—so you probably shouldn't take this into "real life," as it could wind up
nuking your marriage.
But on the other other hand... your husband sounds like the type of guy who
would regard your secret online life as cheating—the hundreds of e-mails, the
phone calls, the hours lurking on domination websites—and divorce you just the
same if he found out. So you might as well go ahead and fuck those subs, DOMME,
because if you get caught—and you probably will—you'll be in the same trouble
whether or not you got some enthusiastic oral from a sub male in "real life." -
see more at
I'm a handsome exemplar of the bronze race living in the motherland. I'm
dating a beautiful and wonderful gringuita who is soon taking a trip over the
border from the U.S. to Mexico for the first time to visit me and my pinche big
family. There are a couple of things that worry me, though. First of all, she
seems to have a fairly pessimistic view of Mexico (probably due to anti-Mexican
propaganda and inherited biased family ideas). She says she's very excited to
visit, but I can sense there's fear in her. What would you suggest I do so I can
erase all her wrong gabacho misconceptions of la madre patria? Secondly, I fear
for her health once she gets to eat real Mexican food. What can I do to
ameliorate the devastating effects our unique cuisine has on unsuspecting
foreigners and spare her from Montezuma's revenge, while still allowing her to
delight herself in some great enchiladas or chiles rellenos?
El Guapo de México
DEAR HANDSOME ONE FROM MEXICO: To ameliorate your beloved's fears, just give her
a nightly dose of your chorizo. As for Montezuma's revenge, I cite my answer
from my libro, which you should buy a fourth copy of, just for the hell of it:
"One of the worst cultural insults you can throw at people is to say that their
food gives you diarrhea, and that's why the English language has so many
euphemisms for the thing—Gandhi's revenge, Gyppy tummy, Delhi belly, the Rangoon
runs, Tokyo trots. But none has stuck better in the gabacho mind than
Montezuma's revenge, named after the Aztec emperor who lorded over Tenochtitlán
when the Spaniards came. Spanish accounts maintain that Ol' Monty loved to drink
his chocolate laced with muchos chiles, and his digestive tract cleared out
almost daily. Whether it's true or not is a matter of historical intrigue, but
the stereotype was quickly gobbled up by gabachos eager to fulfill their
critique of Mexicans as a dirty, ugly race whose food can cause that disgusting
stuff. That's the gabacho way—blame their weak digestive tract on the natives." -
see moreGustavo Arellano
See Gustavo Arellano's weekly column and archives here
Above: An experimental method based upon a TED talk of Evergreen college
professor Nalini Nadkarni is being tried at Oregon's Snake River prison,
where two thirds of the 20 tiers of the Intensive Management Unit (IMU) have
been classified as mentally ill. Under the Reagan administration, the
nation's mental health system was dismantled and prisons now largely serve
instead as the US's mental health system.
Nadkarni's system is simple. It consists of a relaxing chair in a
room filled with natural images. The videos have a blue hue, as do most
videos, so the room is called the Blue Room. The initial results are
slightly positive but officers and Nadkarni remain hopeful. Many anecdotes
give them reason. One especially violent inmate was re-assigned another cell
and refused to move. The officers wanted to calm the escalating situation
and te inmate was asked if he wanted to spend an hour in the blue room,
after which he voluntarily packed his things and moved to the new cell.
Above: In the easing situation in Missouri, one officer determined to fan the
flames as best he could by threatening to kill a journalist.
In other law enforcement news, a New Mexico cop was under arrest with his
son today. 'According to U.S. District Attorney Damon Martinez, the
younger Rodella was with his father and driving his dad's unmarked personal
Jeep on March 11 when they chased down a 26-year-old driver—identified by
the Rio Grande Sun as Michael Tafoya—who prosecutors say was driving the
posted speed limit of 35 mph. The two Rodellas (neither of whom were in
uniform) allegedly tailgated and eventually stopped Tafoya and challenged
him to a fight. Prosecutors say that Tafoya then drove away again. When the
Rodellas managed to pull Tafoya over again, Sheriff Rodella got out of his
Jeep, jumped into Tafoya's vehicle and beat the man with his revolver.
Tafoya, who federal prosecutors say was begging the Rodellas not to shoot
him, was then allegedly dragged out of his vehicle and thrown to the ground
by Rodella Jr. The senior Rodella then allegedly pulled Tafoya's head up out
of the dirt by his hair, shoved his badge in Tafoya's face and yelled, "You
want to see my badge? Here's my badge, motherf*cker!"
Mr. Chittim has been arrested again, for attempted
assault, harassment, etc. Mr. Chittim was
famed 12 years ago for being stabbed. He has been
arrested 4 times in the past several years. In some quarters, that
can be considered progress.
Mr. Gaylord was picked up
on warrants from Linn County for carrying a concealed weapon and for
failing to show up on earlier charges. Mr. Gaylord was arrested
twice here a year ago for failing to appear, polce say, on charges of car
prowling and theft.
Otherwise, it was a quiet night, with Lance Palmer arrested on an alleged parole/
probation violation for stealing a car.
About the Risland Rehab Clinic
Dusty Risland, for whom the Risland Rehab Clinic (see above) is named, is back
in jail. Mr. Risland was recently busted for criminal trespassing, criminal
possession of a forged instrument (counterfeit $20), felon in possession of a
weapon and meth. The Dusty Risland Clinic mentioned in this column is strictly
online, consisting of repetitive viewing of the video below, until the technique
is mastered. The assumption of the Clinic is that there is a small subset
labeled criminals who actually just do not know how to change their adult
diapers when they full and are showing up, bewildered, seeking police
assistance. That is the only possible explanation a rational person could come
to. NOBODY could POSSIBLY be so stupid and inept, as criminals, as people like
Mr. Risland pretend to be.
Note: there are several sleazy websites across the country posting mugshots,
utilizing photos owned by the public, in the public domain, all run by
Portlander Kyle Ritter, which will remove your mugshot for $39 or such from
their sites. This is not one of them. Do not send in cash trying to have a
mugshot removed. It would just be a waste of your time and your money. Instead,
put your time into turning your life around. And your money into your kids.
There's a fight brewing on the West Coast that could put the
pro-women's health majority in the U.S. Senate at risk.
Oregon's Senator Jeff Merkley is a champion for women's health, women's rights
and more opportunities for women to get ahead.
Donate now to support Jeff in his tough fight for re-election.
Here are three things you need to know about Jeff Merkley:
He has a 100% rating from Planned Parenthood Action Fund — and he was the first
man ever to receive the Pro-Choice Champion Award from the Planned Parenthood
Advocates of Oregon.
Jeff led the fight for the "right to pump" law — requiring employers to provide
nursing mothers with adequate time and space for pumping milk at work.
Calling Jeff Merkley her "friend and mentor," Senator Elizabeth Warren said
"Jeff not only has the right progressive values, but he's willing to take on the
tough fights. Look, he won't toot his own horn because he's a humble guy — and
because he cares more about results than about attention — but if you're looking
for one of the strongest progressive leaders in the Senate, it's Jeff Merkley."
But as awesome as Jeff Merkley is, his re-election is far from guaranteed. In
2008, he won narrowly with just 49% of vote.
And now, as of this week, there are millions of dollars in attack ads trying to
take him down — funded by right-wing billionaires who most certainly don't share
Senator Merkley's opponent, Monica Wehby, called Justice Scalia her "ideal"
justice and Justice Samuel Alito, "best of all." It's no surprise that she
"doesn't see a problem with" the terrible Hobby Lobby decision. She'd repeal the
Affordable Care Act, taking away contraceptive coverage from millions of
Americans. And she'd have voted against the Paycheck Fairness Act.
order here BUY DAN'S BEES' HONEY AT THE AMAZING PRICE OF $10 A QUART
Support a Musician
playing at the darkside
215 SW 4th Street
Friday, August 15 through
Thursday August 21.
HELD OVER for Friday, August 8th.
THE GRAND SEDUCTION: A fish-out-of-water fable set within a fabulously scenic
backdrop, against which wholesome humor and a thoroughgoing humanist streak play
out and intertwine with gentle, unforced ease.
BELLE:It boasts all the surface beauty that fans of period pictures have come to
expect, but Belle also benefits from its stirring performances and subtle social
MOOD INDIGO: French filmmaker Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
Mind) returns home to let his manic imagination run wild.
OPENING Friday, August 15th
MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT: Love makes the magic in Woody Allen's latest movie, and
it helps to have such likable stars as Colin Firth and Emma Stone in the leading
BEGIN AGAIN: Writer-director John Carney's (ONCE) charming work from its
well-matched leads, Begin Again is difficult to resist. Keira Knightley, Adam
Levine, Mark Ruffalo.
MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT --PG-13
Chinese conjuror Wei Ling Soo is the most celebrated magician of his age, but
few know that he is the stage persona of Stanley Crawford (Colin Firth), a
grouchy and arrogant Englishman with a sky-high opinion of himself and an
aversion to phony spiritualists' claims. Persuaded by his friend, Howard Burkan
(Simon McBurney), Stanley goes on a mission to the Côte d'Azur mansion of the
Catledge family: mother Grace (Jacki Weaver), son Brice (Hamish Linklater), and
daughter Caroline (Erica Leerhsen). He presents himself as a businessman named
Stanley Taplinger in order to debunk the alluring young clairvoyant Sophie Baker
(Emma Stone) who is staying there with her mother (Marcia Gay Harden). Sophie
arrived at the Catledge villa at the invitation of Grace, who is convinced that
Sophie can help her contact her late husband, and once there, attracted the
attention of Brice, who has fallen for her head over heels. What follows is a
series of events that are magical in every sense of the word and send the
characters reeling. In the end, the biggest trick MAGIC IN THE MOONLIGHT plays
is the one that fools us all.
BEGIN AGAIN --R
The latest film from writer-director John Carney (ONCE), BEGIN AGAIN is a
soul-stirring comedy about what happens when lost souls meet and make beautiful
music together. Gretta (Keira Knightley) and her long-time boyfriend Dave (Adam
Levine) are college sweethearts and songwriting partners who decamp for New York
when he lands a deal with a major label. But the trappings of his new-found fame
soon tempt Dave to stray, and a reeling, lovelorn Gretta is left on her own. Her
world takes a turn for the better when Dan (Mark Ruffalo), a disgraced
record-label exec, stumbles upon her performing on an East Village stage and is
immediately captivated by her raw talent. From this chance encounter emerges an
enchanting portrait of a mutually transformative collaboration, set to the
soundtrack of a summer in New York City. BEGIN AGAIN is produced and financed by
Exclusive Media and produced by Anthony Bregman, Tobin Armbrust and Judd Apatow.
BELLE is inspired by the true story of Dido Elizabeth Belle (Gugu Mbatha-Raw),
the illegitimate mixed race daughter of Admiral Sir John Lindsay (Matthew
Goode). Raised by her aristocratic great-uncle Lord Mansfield (Tom Wilkinson)
and his wife (Emily Watson), Belle's lineage affords her certain privileges, yet
her status prevents her from the traditions of noble social standing. While her
cousin Elizabeth (Sarah Gadon) chases suitors for marriage, Belle is left on the
sidelines wondering if she will ever find love. After meeting an idealistic
young vicar's son bent on changing society, he and Belle help shape Lord
Mansfield's role as Lord Chief Justice to end slavery in England.
MOOD INDIGO --NR
Eminently inventive Michel Gondry finds inspiration from French novelist Boris
Vian's cult novel to provide the foundation for this visionary and romantic love
story starring Audrey Tautou (Amélie, Coco Before Chanel) and Romain Duris (The
Beat My Heart Skipped). Set in a charmingly surreal Paris, Duris plays wealthy
bachelor Colin, whose hobbies include developing his pianocktail (a
cocktail-making piano) and devouring otherworldly dishes prepared by his trusty
chef Nicolas (Omar Sy, TheUntouchables). When Colin learns that his best friend
Chick (Gad Elmaleh, The Valet), a fellow acolyte of the philosopher Jean-Sol
Partre, has a new American girlfriend, our lonely hero attends a friend's party
in hopes of falling in love himself. He soon meets Chloé (Audrey Tautou) and,
before they know it, they're dancing to Duke Ellington and plunging headfirst
into a romance that Gondry rapturously depicts as only he can. Their whirlwind
courtship is tested when an unusual illness plagues Chloe; a flower begins to
grow in her lungs. To save her, Colin discovers the only cure is to surround
Chloe with a never-ending supply of fresh flowers. MOOD INDIGO was nominated for
three 2014 César Awards: Étienne Charry (Best Original Music), Florence Fontaine
(Best Costume) and Stéphane Rozenbaum (Best Production Design).
THE GRAND SEDUCTION --PG-13
A small fishing village must procure a local doctor to secure a lucrative
business contract. When unlikely candidate and big city doctor Paul Lewis lands
in their lap for a trial residence, the townsfolk rally together to charm him
into staying. As the doctor's time in the village winds to a close, acting mayor
Murray French has no choice but to pull out all the stops and begin The Grand
BEAT THE DEVIL (1963)--NR
Tuesday the 19th ONLY!
FREE SHOW! All Donations Benefit The Corvallis Advocate
Romance and suspense in Paris, as a woman is pursued by several men who want a
fortune her murdered husband had stolen. Who can she trust? Cary Grant, Audrey
Tues Aug 19 only!
All donations go to
The Corvallis Advocate
HERE'S TO YOU, EVERYONE! NOW, WE WAIT....
It's been a great fundraiser and a big thanks to all who helped!
We have started fulfilling the premiums offered to those who contributed to our
KickStarter campaign. Check your emails from KickStarter (I know, they go a
little nuts with the spam. Sorry about that) and me and see if yours are ready
to go! The T-shirts have NOT arrived yet, but are supposed to be here by the
20th. When they arrive, you will be sent an email if you have one coming. We
will be doing two T-shirt orders, so if you didn't respond to the first request
for size and style, there will be a second one coming. We need to know how big
you want the shirt and if it's a mens' or women's fit.
If we run out of August and you still have not gotten an email or your loot,
send us an email and ask us what the heck our problem is. We have over 750
orders to fulfill so there is a chance everything will not go perfectly.
Thanks again for your patience.
Thank you for supporting the Darkside, now celebrating EIGHT years in business!
That's 16 years if you count the Avalon Cinema!
215 SW 4th
Corvallis, OR 97333
SEARCH CORVALLIS COMMUNITY PAGES:
CORVALLIS AUTHOR AND
HISTORIAN TED COX'S THE TOLEDO, OREGON INCIDENT OF 1925
As if you didn't know, a new study shows US patent laws and patent trolls
have destroyed innovation. A new study by researchers at Harvard and the
University of Texas provides some insight on this question. Drawing from
data on litigation, R&D spending, and patent citations, the researchers find
that firms that are forced to pay NPEs (either because they lost a lawsuit
or settled out of court) dramatically reduce R&D spending: losing firms
spent $211 million less on R&D, on average, than firms that won a lawsuit
against a troll.
See older Postshere
BREAKING NEWS OF
HEALTH, ART AND
Above: The traditional dilemma to be solved for alternative energy theorists
has been the storage issue but
physicist Amory Lovins says that's not really much of an issue at
Breaking News of The Economy, Traffic, Jobs and Business
Fred Harwin and His Eye
Above: 40 years ago, Fred Harwin and his
girlfriend were in the back seat of a car when 2 men went into a road rage fit
and stopped, attacked the car's occupants, smashing Harwin's glasses and cutting
his eye, which he lost.
He is now a Portland ocularist and has created eyes for 3,000 others.
China has launched a new campaign to re-invigorate the stagnant economy of the
northeast. "China will speed up the construction of eight rail lines and
build or expand 10 regional airports in the region, the document said. A new
state-owned regional investment company will be established to hasten the
reorganization of poorly run SOEs in the region, the document said. The central
government will support emerging industries including robotics, gas turbines,
advanced marine engineering equipment and integrated circuits, as well as
expanding the service industry of the region. For traditional sectors such as
agriculture, the document said the northeast provinces' status as a core grain
production base will be strengthened. Grain storage and logistical facilities
will be improved. The central government will fund the building of affordable
housing and grain logistics facilities, included in a 60-billion-yuan (9.7
billion U.S. dollars) new credit reserve for shanty town renovation by the China
Site Dedicated to the Memory of Eric McKinley, d. Iraq, 2002
Eric McKinley was our local connoisseur of ska music and cafe denizen whose unit
was activated and sent to Iraq to patrol with inadequately armored vehicles.
When Congressional funds for armoring the vehicles were diverted by the
notorious Republican Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska (later convicted on
corruption charges), Eric's unit was reduced to using plywood to give their
vehicles some additional protection. When an insurgent's IED hit Eric's vehicle,
his horrified teammates were forced to watch as the heat of the burning plywood
began exploding the grenades strapped to Eric's body. Eric, you are not
forgotten and will live forever in our hearts.